A few months ago I miscarried my fourth baby, carried to 11+3. A Thursday evening, my partner had called me checking to see that everything was OK and that I was resting. A few hours later, I started spotting and there was no further bleeding. But I knew. I woke up the next morning and felt like myself again. No hormonal changes, no achy breasts, just… me.
The following Monday I was booked in for another D&C. My fourth procedure. I proceeded to bleed for 4 days, before spotting, then nothing. I thought that was it.
I chose to stay with my parents for two weeks to deal with the emotions of another miscarriage. My partner distanced himself. He stayed at home and threw himself into work, struggling to comprehend the way that he felt and in all honesty, being very unsupportive of me.
Initially I planned to return to work during the third week and then mother nature returned with a vengeance and I realised that I was showing clear signs of pregnancy – tender breasts, bloated stomach and nausea had returned. I carried out a pregnancy test that day and discovered another positive result. I contacted the early pregnancy unit to arrange a scan the same week, where it was later confirmed that I had retained products of conception in the right horn of the uterus.
I can’t begin to describe my distress as I was sent home to await a further scan the following week, before next steps would be confirmed.
A scan the following week confirmed no change, and another scan was requested. This showed a movement in the RPOC. Another scan was arranged for a further two weeks later and finally, there was minimal products showing. My consultant explained that it’s usual for the body to reabsorb the remaining tissue, especially as I had been encouraged to start light exercise again to kick start my blood flow.
Despite undergoing previous miscarriages and dilation and curation procedures, it gets no easier. Every single time, there’s an overwhelming process of grief and recovery to deal with. In addition to this, I’ve found that no two procedures have been the same. Each time I’ve experienced different symptoms, new challenges and emotional hurdles.